I know what you’re thinking. 4,337 miles away?! Yep, 4,337.
I have 2 beautiful children! My son is 10 and my daughter is 8. They currently live with their dad in Alaska. Due to military life, that’s where they ended up. I won’t get into how I got here, but I will get into how its a complete hell.
I have been dealing with this current situation now for the past 3.5 years. Do I regret how I got here?! Absolutely. Do I wish I could go back and do it over?! Absolutely. I can’t though. I have to keep pushing forward and pray the future is going to be a million times greater! I could list a million reasons why being a mommy so far away blows but I’ll just try to keep it to a minimum. So… here are some top reasons why being a mommy (or daddy) far away SUCKS!
I don’t get to see my kids everyday. I don’t get to wake them up in the morning. I don’t get to make them breakfast. Well, put the cereal in a bowl, that is! 😉 I don’t have the pleasure of telling them their outfit of choice doesn’t match or that they really shouldn’t wear stripes with plaid! I don’t get to tell them that they live in freaking Alaska and they HAVE to wear a damn jacket! I don’t get to tell them to have a great day at school and not to get in any fights! The hectic and crazy mornings most parents go through, I am missing those.
Lets be real a sec. I sucked at school and I will admit that! But not being able to be there and “help” my kids is a killer. All the parents now-a-days complaining about this common core math… I don’t get to be tortured with helping with that! I don’t get to help with the dreadful projects or the really awesome projects that have a lot of meaning. I don’t get to sign off on their tests that they have completely bombed! I don’t get to attend any of the parent teacher conferences. Hell, my kids teachers don’t even know I exist! Sad, I know. I don’t get to take those phone calls where my son got in trouble again for fighting with his BFF, or that my daughter has a bad headache and needs to come home. I don’t get any of this and most of the time, I don’t even know about it.
Gymnastics, Gymnastics, and MORE Gymnastics. If anyone knows about how much time this sport takes up, its me. Gymnastics was MY life and now its both of my kids! They have practices 4 times a week. Its exhausting and I know that. I couldn’t be more proud of how much they have accomplished in this sport, but it sucks. Why does it suck for me?! Well, they already live far away, PLUS a 4 hour time difference. They get off school and go right to practice, so those 4 days during the week, I don’t get to talk to them. 4 freaking days that I have to go without telling them I love them or telling them that I miss them or to just ask how their days went! 4 days of more time taken. I would NEVER want them to give it up but from my point and being so far away, it sucks! Also, competitions! Competitions that I can’t attend because I can’t afford to pay that whopping $700 plane ticket every 2 weeks for a competition! And thats just the flight! The competitions I do get to witness are filled with extreme happiness, lots of pictures and videos, and me cheering on my kids as loud as I can! I couldn’t be more proud but wish I could have it all, all the time.
Hugs & Kisses
Just that. Their constant hugs & kisses. Cuddles too! ALL.THE.TIME. The times I do have, I’m afraid I’ll suffocate them! Just kidding. But, for real…
Grocery shopping is a hobby I absolutely hate. I hate it even more because I don’t have the pleasure of buying kid shit. No fruit snacks, no cookies, or gross, full of sugar juice that I could never stand to drink. I also don’t have them begging to get something and after repeatedly saying no 27 times, finally give in just so they’ll stop. I don’t have the mommy moment when you have to apologize to people because your 2 kids are racing each other up and down the aisles. When my kids ARE with me, in my little time frame I have, I HATE IT but LOVE IT at the same time!
Cooking?! I don’t do that often. It’s normally my wife who takes on this task. I hate the clean up and never want to do it! But, when the kids are here, thats all I want to do! I want to be able to cook every single night and set the table for the 4 of us. I want to sit down and go around the table and discuss our days. I want to tell my kids to not eat like a pig or, maybe, eat like a pig! I want these moments everyday. Every night!
Heart to Heart Talks
Of course, I could have heart to heart talks over the phone or FaceTime, but I can’t compete with background noise or the tv they’re watching as their talking. I want the moments where you’re in silence and just letting it all out. Tears, laughter, whatever it may cause. I want that. I want those deep conversations that they could remember when they grow up. I want to tell them things that will make a difference in their everyday life. I want to know that as they get older, they’re acting those certain ways because of things I have said! I want their actions to be what I have encouraged! Not being around every day is super difficult to achieve that.
Save the roughest for last. I don’t care how old my kids are, I will ALWAYS want to tuck them in. I want to sit and tell them that tomorrow is a new day and whatever happened today, no longer matters. Tomorrow is a new day to start over and be a better you. Also, those nights where they’re sick and you have to wake up in the middle of the night to clean up vomit that is trailed from their bed, through the hallway, to the toilet. Those nights where they come into your bedroom 14 times because they can’t sleep. Those nights where they beg to sleep with you in your bed but you refuse to be cramped all night. Those nights where you drag their beds in your bedroom so you can all have a sleepover. Those times are the best and I would love to have them all the time.
I could go on and on but I’ll stop myself there. So, all of you mommies and daddies who don’t have the pleasure of doing all of these things on a daily, you’ll get through it. Yes, there will be multiple nights where you cry yourself to sleep, or days that you just don’t think things will get better, and maybe they won’t, but you do it for the kids. Those kids are what pushes me everyday to continue to live my life. Those kids are the most important people in my life and everything I do, one way or another, is for them! So, keep on keeping on and remember… Everything happens for a reason!